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"You cannot capture
happiness no matter how hard you may chase after it.
Happiness is something that follows you."
The words of the old sage echoed in the young man's
heart, sounding a constant beat like the song that plays
over and over without reprieve.
"What does that mean?" he asked himself. "Time to walk,"
he continued, trapped in his own inner dialogue.
He thought about how many ways he tried to find lasting
joy-from the cheap thrills to the bigger emotional
investments that still left him bankrupt, at square one,
with no more to show than a few scars and wrinkles and
perhaps a tiny glimpse of what to avoid-far from any
solution, more like a
the-pain-will-stop-when-you-stop-smacking-yourself-with-the-baseball-bat
approach that moved nothing forward.
At least it didn't move back.
Or did it?
"The pursuit of pain avoidance will never lead to
happiness," he mused inside his aching head, an ache
that scratched his soul, dug deep into his bowels to
trouble and torment him, turned his stomach green, a
sickly, hungover nausea that clung like ivy smothering a
chimney. "I've gotta' figure this out," he demanded, "I
wanna' be happy."
He kept one foot in front of the other, as if the
forward march would somehow will the understanding to
step forth and make itself known.
No such luck-though he vowed to keep on.
His slow gait opened space for introspection-plod, seek,
plod, seek.
The mental wheels spun, though he wrestled with a vague
notion that only in stillness would answers emerge or
materialize.
"I can't capture happiness but I yearn for it. I try to
do the right things yet it eludes me, like pushing a
string. When do the right things add up? When is enough
enough? How do I reel it in? Or can I?"
His legs carried him while his mind churned.
"I know I can't look outside myself but how do I look
within? How does looking help anyway? What do I do with
what I see?"
He tripped over a protruding stone and found himself
falling, a gash on the knee, a burn on the palm of his
hand.
He sat for a long while, watching the wounds leak, a
queer smirk across his lips.
"What's that about?" he pondered.
Despite his stuff, he felt a smile creep upward from his
chin.
It spread into a grin, like the sun rising between two
mountain tops, filling the space with pale light that
gains strength with each passing moment, a space that
floods with pinks and reds and causes the valley between
the crests to stream awakening to all below.
He suddenly knew, as we all know, in that profound and
knowing place, that the rock that sent him tumbling
spoke a universal truth.
Only he could pry open the creaking, groaning door that
hid his darkest secrets as well as his enlightenment and
build a pathway for happiness to alight and embrace him.
He licked the blood from his wrist and tasted himself,
glanced down at his torn jeans, the naked flesh speckled
with bits of gravel, glanced up and discovered an
emerald green tree line, a blue sky, a stray cloud, a
soaring hawk and a glowing eye that stared back at him
and gave him, for a hushed moment, a tiny piece of
happiness.
That's A View From The Ridge.
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